Waiting

This is part of a message I spoke at West Hills Friends. First I read Psalm 130, once through using “God” language, and once through using “Light” language. During the season of Advent, and going into the season of Winter, the theme of waiting is on my mind. I don’t like waiting. It’s uncomfortable and slow and unclear. Especially right now with everything going on in our county and world right now. So I wrote a poem about some of the tensions I feel around this time of waiting.

*Note: poem contains strong imagery & words

 

I watched the leaves
Fall off your branches
And the garden begin to die
How do you do it every year?

The darkness falls
In the shades of night
Stealing away the day
And the earth waits
And I wait with her

But how do I wait
When there’s so much pain?
How can I stay
Still when everything hurts?
Peace on Earth
This thing that we
Long for and live for
Feels so far away
In the quiet of this time
While we’re waiting
For the light

And we wait
And we wait
And we wait

Wait
“Don’t shoot”
Wait
“I can’t breathe”
Wait
“I don’t have a gun. Stop Shooting”
Wait
“You shot me. You shot me”
Wait
“Why did you shoot me?”
Wait

Last words
Ringing in my ears
Tearing at my heart
Wailing from the
Mothers who will
Never hold their
Children again

I don’t even know
How to describe such agony
Where to begin to fix
A system so broken
How to redeem a
Place defined and
Determined by injustice

It’s hard to talk
About the darkness
Even though we all
See it
Once I open my
Mouth to acknowledge
Its presence, I’m afraid
That it will take
Over everything
And I won’t be able
To see the light again

Or maybe the darkness
In me will
Call out to the darkness
In you
And we can actually
Know each other

And perhaps the
Waiting doesn’t have to be
Stagnation
Or ignorance
Or doing noting
But a strengthening
A coming together
Finding our roots
Next to one another
As we come to know
The deep, sad, awful
Truth
Open our souls to
The ache
As the land mourns
And weeps
In the silence

We can join with
Our tears and our
Anger
Our bitterness and our
Pride
Our privilege and our
Oppression

Above the ground
Make room for the
Wide emptiness
And silent space
While underneath
We grow stronger

We connect the dots
Between my darkness
And your darkness
And your darkness
And your darkness
As as we begin
To truly know
Each other
Maybe we create
Space for light
To happen
To be born again

Like the seeds of spring
Fighting, Living
Flourishing, Giving completely
And then dying
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
To rise again
To live and breathe
Freedom, equality
Justice

I wait for the light
My whole being waits
We wait for the light
Our whole beings wait
More than the garden
Waits for springtime
More than the parents
For their children
To come home
More than the night waits for day
We wait for the light
We wait for the light